When and where? premieres June 9, 11:15 p.m., on IFC
Who should watch this program? stay-at-home moms, Pee-wee Herman
So how is it? Thu Tran is in love with food, and herself, and probably drugs. That's what makes Food Party such a tasty treat: it's a campy-beyond-camp mix of absurd recipes, psychedelic art direction, and cute chick Thu. Oh, did I mention the puppets? Think Sesame Street on acid. This six-part series, airing on IFC as part of their late-night "Automat" block, typically finds cooking-show host Thu in need of an ingredient, like apple seeds she must score from her dealer or caviar she needs for an undersea nude picnic. Still with me? The concept would prove senseless if not for the colorfully detailed costumes and sets, and Thu's self-consciously silly delivery. "Your oven should be pre-heated at about 350 to 450 to 550 or so ... About 69 to 420 minutes later, your cookies should be ready." Originally created as a Cleveland art-scene parody of public-access TV, Thu's videos went viral, she moved to New York, and now she's a bona fide TV star. The only downer is that each episode is just 10 minutes, but here's hoping Thu has a feature-film version of Food Party in the works, at least in her mind.
When and where? third season premieres February 3, 11 p.m., on IFC
Who should watch this program? computer geeks, crafty Irish bastards
So how is it? I.T., that is, as in information technology. The computer guys at work. This should be funny, right? Imagine The Office taking place entirely in the cubicles of the technorati. Now forget that because this isn't it. Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd follows the wacky mishaps of three employees in the computer department of a U.K. corporation. The plots are often over-the-top enough, if you write them down on paper maybe, but the follow-through just isn't there. In one episode, after one of the tech guys gets bullied by thugs in the park, he returns to scare them off with a handgun. Ha-ha. That's it. In another, the guys try to come off manly by parroting lines from a website of Cockney-inflected phrases about sports, but end up as unwitting accomplices to armed robbery, ultimately avoiding the cops with an impromptu male-on-male kiss. That would be funny if it wasn't just so not. The real problem is that almost none of the humor has anything to do with the show's alleged premise: technology. Even Saturday Night Live's "Nick Burns, Your Company's Computer Guy" sketches spiked higher than this show on the geek laugh-o-meter, and those barely registered. The only time I've seen these guys do anything tech-related is in the third season opener when the boss asks them for help: to open his laptop. Cue laugh track!
When and where? third season premieres January 6, 11 p.m., on TBS
Who should watch this program? improv actors, coupon clippers
So how is it? What's so funny about working at a grocery store? A lot, actually, if you work at Greens & Grains, the fictional setting of TBS's original comedy series 10 Items or Less. The show centers on ne'er-do-well Leslie (John Lehr), who upon the death of his father inherits ownership of a small-town food market staffed by a variety of oddballs. The shenanigans which ensue include a bagging competition against next-door rival Super Value Mart, pimping a wall stain that looks like Jesus, and late-night turkey bowling, a.k.a. tossing frozen birds down grocery aisles to knock down two-liter bottles of soda. Mostly unscripted, at least in terms of dialogue, the show relies on the actors' improv skills to fill out the plot, and the results are often beautifully odd. "It's like snaking a toilet," says Leslie, explaining Lasik surgery. "Except the toilet's your eyeball."
When and where? premieres October 15, 10:30 p.m., on Comedy Central
Who should watch this program? bleeding hearts, N.W.A
So how is it? Allegedly a parody of African-American pop culture, David Alan Grier's new sketch-comedy show is more sad than satire. While rapper Phat Man's "No Child Left Behind" PSA comes complete with slutty schoolgirl dancers shaking ass (get it? behind?), it's not so cute to hear him remark, "My second wife, I shot, I stabbed, I hit her with a brick." A bit about a 1932 black presidential candidate whose dismembered body gets dumped across several Southern states is simply tasteless. Some sketches work, like an obituary for the news team's sole white correspondent, who was continually sent to report on gang initiations, drug deals and race riots, as well as Grier's rant about the death of hip-hop ("When did 'Fight the power' become 'Wait till you see my dick'?"), but Chocolate News ultimately fails to deliver on its premise. An "N-Word Peace Treaty" doesn't satirize pop culture, it just demeans the progress of a nation of backward racist fools to a nation somewhat less foolish. What's next, women's lib jokes?
When and where? Thursdays, 10:30 p.m., on Comedy Central
Who should watch this program? crack addicts, rapists
So how is it? Potty-mouthed comedian Sarah Silverman returns to Comedy Central for a second season of her self-titled/self-absorbed sitcom, and the results are spectacularly craptastic. Despite the delights of last year's debut, which shocked and awed via Silverman's character's clueless affronts to every conceivable ethnicity and demographic, the latest episodes of The Sarah Silverman Program fail to deliver much offense at all. In "The Mongolian Beef," Silverman accuses Mongolians of raping her great-great-grandmother, then sues the entire country. Mongolia? Really? So you're all out of Sri Lankans to offend? In "High, It's Sarah," Silverman sends voicemails to herself while she's stoned, ultimately ending up at a megacorporation headquarters in prom attire, not quite remembering why she kidnapped the CEO. While the pot humor clicks, everything else falls tragically short of the first season's potential. Can we get the gay stoner neighbor dudes a show?
When and where? premieres June 16, 10:30 p.m., on Showtime
Who should watch this program? sex addicts, aspiring hookers
So how is it? Such high hopes I had for this new Showtime series. Call girl? Secrets? Bring it on! Supposedly a comedy, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, while stylish, lingers into boredom, even in scenes with blowjobs. Belle (Billie Piper, of Dr. Who) is a working girl in London, and her life as a whore finds her fit financially but empty emotionally. The series explores her travails as a hooker, from accompanying guys to swingers clubs to dealing with an overbearing madame. Belle frequently talks to the camera, but what she has to say tends to be redundant. It's like Harrison Ford narrating a porno Blade Runner. The show is based on Belle de Jour's memoir The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl and frankly I got more hard-ons from the book.
When and where? premieres May 20, 8:40 p.m., on BBC America
Who should watch this program? Anglophiles, the hearing impaired
So how is it? Humor, they say, is a universal language (or is that music?), but don't tell the BBC. Comprehending what the actors are saying or what British cultural references they're making on Not Going Out, the latest sitcom to debut on BBC America, is half the time impossible. Still, the punch lines I do catch are pretty hilarious. Thank God at least one cast member is American. The setup: Lee (the joking slacker, a sort of British "Chandler Bing") moves in with Kate (a Californian he trades barbs with over national stereotypes), whose ex-boyfriend Tim (the stuffy straight man) is Lee's best friend. Here's Tim telling Lee how he would pick up a girl in Lee's style: "Hello, miss," he begins. Lee interrupts, "Hello, miss? Who are you chatting up, Penelope Keith?" Let me just say, I don't like jokes that require Wikipedia. But the punch lines come rapid-fire, and the intent is clear even when the reference isn't. (The laugh track helps.) Here's Kate coaching Lee on being her fake boyfriend: "Can't you just pretend to be a little bit more romantic?" "I can't just turn it on like a tap." "Force it!" "All right, I can't just turn it on like a faucet." With an English accent it kills, trust me.
What is this program? improvised small-claims court
When and where? premieres March 3, on DirecTV's The 101
Who should watch this program? nobody
So how is it? Nice try, DirecTV, but this half-hour improv series letting comedians argue actual small-claims court cases delivers almost no laughs. The proceedings, taped at Hollywood comedy club The Laugh Factory, are presided over by "Judge" Dom Irrera, whose running gag is to find himself in contempt for making inappropriate remarks. Some of the comics get off a good line here and there (Tom Arnold on a stolen sex tape: "If we don't see tits, you must acquit!"), but it's far too rare to justify watching an entire show. Even the minute-long "Quickie Case" at the end of each episode, when a plaintiff and a defendant make their case directly to the judge, manages to prolong the humorlessness. Everyone looks like they're having a blast, but this format just doesn't work. If the comedians were defending, say, accused murderers, it might be fun to watch. But that's probably beyond DirecTV's legal jurisdiction. The verdict? Cancelled!
When and where? season two premieres February 5, 10 p.m., on Logo
Who should watch this program? flaming fairies, Rosie O'Donnell
So how is it? Maybe I'm not gay enough for this show (despite being a straight guy who loves musical theater and the Village People), but I just don't get it. The Big Gay Sketch Show parodies just about every gay cliche in the book (dyke fashion, Liza Minnelli love), but not to particularly hilarious effect. The bits, while not ill-conceived, are often ill-executed. An overly emotional Sally Field in a commercial for an osteoporosis drug? Sounds clever, but it's no more than an over-the-top reenactment of her famous Academy Awards speech. Liza as a superheroine who gets her powers from imbibing alcohol? Drunkenly rescuing twinks getting mugged really isn't all that funny. Some sketches earn genuine laughs, like "Today on Craigslist With Maya Angelou," imagining the acclaimed poet earnestly reciting posts from the man-to-man section of Casual Encounters, and the commercial for Gaydar, a laser-scoped blaster that outs its targets. But the parody of Dynasty with its mocking of convoluted soap storylines and shoulder-padded Joan Collins is something I would expect from Saturday Night Live circa 1996. The one sketch in season two's opener that actually got me chuckling was "WeHo Express," about a West Hollywood FedEx-type store where gay guys ogle a muscular employee as he lifts and grunts and spanks the boxes. This one went over the top in all the right ways, like when a customer starts videotaping the action and packing popcorn falls on the guy ("It's all over my face! Some of it got in my hair!"). The Big Gay Sketch Show is definitely gay, but the laughs just aren't that big.
When and where? Wednesdays, 1 a.m. (or so), on TBS
Who should watch this program? Danny Gans fans, the terminally ill
So how is it? Frank Caliendo is the modern maestro of comedic impersonation, according to the hype at TBS. In reality, Caliendo is a mediocre mimicker with an unfunny sketch show that will surely die a timely death. The makeup is first-rate; Caliendo, despite his girth, actually looks like most of the people he's trying to imitate, but the writing undermines his efforts. The bit set at the William Jefferson Clinton Library goes for laughs via hedonistic innuendo but it's all too obvious ("What happens in the Clinton Library, stays in the Clinton Library"). A Three Tenors take on movie-trailer voice-over artists? George Bush addressing the nation with lovey-dovey talk? Sean Connery's Voice Club for Men? ("I'll turn you from Doctor No into Doctor Yes!") Rich Little wants his job back.
Do you want to save this program or delete? DELETE
When and where? premieres Sept. 8, 10 p.m., on BBC America
Who should watch this program? faux intellectuals, homeless comedians
So how is it? Promoted as Curb Your Enthusiasm U.K. style, Lead Balloon weakly apes the improvisations of HBO's innovative program. Jack Dee stars as Rick Spleen, a disaffected comedy writer and host of People Do the Dumbest Things (not that you'd know he's a comedian from his moribund demeanor) as he navigates the meanderings of modern life. He's got an American best friend (easily the snarkiest character in this ensemble), a frustrated live-in girlfriend, and a stereotypical Eastern European cleaning lady. The running gag of the debut episode is the lack of teaspoons in Spleen's kitchen. This setup could birth comedy genius, but here it barely registers a pulse, let alone an IQ. When Spleen's complaint at the newspaper-delivery office turns to questioning his marital status and then the assumption that he's gay, the scene simply ends in exasperation. The potential for outrageousness is ignored, or perhaps overlooked. The fundamental problem is Dee's constant grimacing. His character's attitude is the polar opposite of Larry David's blissfully offensive ignorance. Rick Spleen hates the world, and the world hates him back. Deservedly so.
When and where? premieres April 18, 11:15 p.m., on Starz
Who should watch this program? comedians, freedom fighters
So how is it? "There's only two white men that black people love: Bill Clinton and Bob Barker!" Truer words were never spoken, at least not by comic Cheryl Underwood on Starz, the underdog movie channel now exploring its options in original programming. Their latest is 1st Amendment Standup, a half hour of comedy by mostly black comedians. The debut starts off strong with genial host Doug Williams but takes a nosedive fast with first performer Donnell Rawlings, who opens with airport jokes. Airport jokes? The old "put your seat back forward" bit died a painful death a decade ago. Thankfully, 1st Amendment producer Martin Lawrence isn't trying to vanilla-ize comedy of color, and the subsequent comics' blacktastic riffs kill. Ian Edwards as a shark: "Shit, there goes my nigga right there, I'm hungry. My bad, I apologize, I'm a Great White, I ain't supposing to be using the N-word. I don't want this to go down as a racial eating." Underwood wins over the mixed crowd with this line: "That's why I live in California. I love to fuck a Mexican." The humor of this show isn't subtle, but the laughs are as infectious as ghetto HIV.
Who should watch this program? comedy enthusiasts, alcoholics
So how is it? Forget Saturday Night Live, forget MadTV. Sketch comedy in the here and now belongs to The Whitest Kids U' Know. Where else can you watch a vampire version of Hamlet turn into an Abraham Lincoln butt-kicking? Nowhere but on Fuse TV, the alt-MTV cable channel (formerly MuchMusic) not afraid to sign contracts with the obviously demented. Bits by the Whitest Kids include movie pitches from a manic mailroom guy, a catchy music video encouraging disgruntled kids to plant pedophilic evidence in their dad's sock drawer, and a corporate meeting starting (starting!) with an exec pulling a wad of poop out of his pants. The creme-de-la-blanc: "Triumph of the Ill," an Adolf Hitler rap with the Fuhrer bragging on his new image. "There's a party up at Schindler's and I'm on his A-list!"
When and where? premieres March 15, 9:30 p.m., on NBC
Who should watch this program? Conan fans, stoners
So how is it? Conan O'Brien first took down the crime genre in 1991 with Lookwell, an undervalued comedy starring TV's Batman, Adam West, but in Conan-co-created Andy Barker, P.I., with former talk-show sidekick Andy Richter as an accountant turned private investigator, the numbers just don't add up. Richter plays a CPA whose new office is mistaken for the digs of a former investigator (Harve Presnell). Convoluted happenstance puts him in the line of fire from Russian mobsters, jealous boyfriends, and poultry cartels. Barker strives to mock the cliches of the genre, but too often the cliches supercede the mocking. Much of the show comes off as an audition for a re-working of the actor's office sitcom Andy Richter Controls the Universe. The supporting cast (Clea Lewis, Tony Hale, Marshall Manesh, Nicole Randall Johnson) is both cute and creepy, but it's not enough to save our bumbling hero. Forget the car chases, let's get Andy back to the office.
