When and where? premieres April 15, 10 p.m., on Discovery Channel
Who should watch this program? insomniacs, Ron Popeil
So how is it? Got a Flowbee? A Magic Bullet? How about a George Foreman Grill? Whether you thank or blame TV infomercials for encouraging America's addiction to consumption, there's no denying we can't stop dialing 800 numbers to purchase the latest and greatest must-have-item-I-never-even-thought-about-until-I-saw-this-ad. But wait! There's more! Discovery Channel has turned these late-night, sitcom-sized commercials into a documentary series cum reality show, with ubiquitous infomercialmen Billy Mays and Anthony Sullivan on a quest to wrangle the next great invention. Despite their polished TV personas, these two squabble on set like mismatched frat brothers, whose frustration with each other is tempered both by mutual respect and all the cash they know their infomercials are about to make. At first glance, Pitchmen might seem like just another behind-the-scenes production peek, but there's a truth behind the madness: selling this crap is hard work. Even if it's only for three easy payments of $19.95!
When and where? premieres Sept. 17, 8 p.m., on Discovery Health
Who should watch this program? chronic overeaters, endoscope enthusiasts
So how is it? Not just another healthy-eating tip-sheet show, The Truth About Food horrifies with enough graphic visuals of the inner workings of the human digestive system to ensure immediate changes to your daily eating habits. Witness the "fart pants." They're an elaborate contraption involving skintight underwear, plastic tubing, and gas bags. I really don't want to say anymore. Except that men and women fart about the same amount, so get over yourselves, ladies. The first episode's highlight is the "pill cam," a swallowable camera that documents in living color the journey of a truckstop meal from mouth to anus. Yum! Episode three, "How to Feed Your Kids," suggests not letting the shorties eat and watch TV at the same time (unless it's this show, in which case they'll instantly lose their appetites). If you thought eating healthy was just too hard in our McModern times, The Truth About Food will scare you into shape. Now put down the donut.
What is this program? wildlife travelogue for children
When and where? premieres June 9, 5 p.m., on Discovery Kids
Who should watch this program? animal-rights activists, necrophiliacs
So how is it? What could have been, and is clearly intended to be, an upbeat, environmentally aware program for kids to learn about animals instead comes across as a disturbing lesson on human hubris. Bindi: The Jungle Girl stars Bindi Irwin -- 8-year-old daughter of the late "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin -- as an Australian girl who educates viewers on the wonders of wildlife from her jungle treehouse, where she tends to a menagerie of exotic pets, including an iguana ("Peru"), a koala ("Jaffa"), and a black-headed python ("Blackie"). Fans of the Crocodile Hunter know that his specialty was acting awestruck at the majesty of wild animals, all the while taunting them to the brink of attack. Fans also know he was killed in 2006 by a pissed-off stingray. So when Dad appears in cameos on Bindi's show (like when he's a smiling, disembodied head illustrating the size of a human skull compared to an elephant's), the proceedings quickly turn macabre. Even peppy musical interludes by Bindi's dancers, the Crocmen, can't obscure the odd truth that this girl is sleeping with snakes. Maybe the preteen target audience won't realize or care how the Crocodile Hunter met his demise, but the creep factor is way too high for anyone who knows the end of the story. Crikey!
